How To Avoid The Relationship Talk And Keep It Casual

How To Avoid The Relationship Talk And Keep It CasualIf you are lucky enough to have a friend with benefits arrangement, you know they can be very fragile. When you are dealing with a person from the opposite sex, it is always hard to communicate. Women are more complex, men, less so. When trying to find a happy medium between the two, emotions can take over. There is an old saying that men and women can’t be friends. In most instances, that is true. If you want a friend, it is usually best to stay with a person of your own gender. Friends with benefits arrangements are different. They combine a casual friendship with casual sex. The key to them both is to remain casual on both fronts. If you try to have too deep of a friendship, it will overflow into the sexual relationship. That is when the trouble begins. If you want to avoid having any sort of relationship talk that will lead to a crossroads, there are things that you can do to keep it light.

A friend with benefits relationship is like heaven. You don’t have to worry about your performance. There are no expectations. There is no baggage, or any power plays. They are fun, you can learn a lot about how to please the other sex, and make yourself feel really good too. If you want to make sure to keep your arrangement, and not have your friend want to be something more than just friends, follow these rules:

Rule #1 – Don’t talk about personal stuff
It is alright to talk about surface things like the weather, or the latest episode of a television show, but don’t talk about how your dad never treated you right. When you talk about intimate things, or share your feelings, you are bringing the relationship out of the casual. Anytime you let them into your personal life, you are risking crossing the relationship bridge. Keep it light, fun and emotion-free at all times. If you don’t, it won’t last.

Rule #2 – Don’t take them to family gatherings
If you don’t want to get the “when are you two getting married?” question, don’t take your friend to family gatherings. Getting family involved is never good. Not only will it make it seem like you have a closer relationship than you want, it will be confusing to everyone around, including you both. Taking them to a bar may keep it casual. Taking them to a cousin’s wedding could be the beginning to the end. Try to not introduce them into your world at all.

Rule #3 – Don’t exchange gifts
A gift is something that tells them you are thinking about them in a different way than just friends. You wouldn’t give your best friend a gift because you were thinking about them, you shouldn’t give your friend with benefits one either. They are no different, well, besides the sex part.

Rule #4 – Treat them with no extra kid gloves than your friends
Don’t treat them any differently than your friends. That means don’t go out of your way to open the door, or pull out their chair. That gives them a special place in your life. It is important to always be respectful and kind, but don’t treat them like a princess the way that you would a girlfriend. People play their parts in life. If you act like she is your girlfriend, then she will start to act like she is. The roles that we take on, are the ones that we start believing in.

Rule #5 – No public display of affection
This goes along with the parts that we play. If you start acting all chummy when out and about, you will forget that you are just friends. Keep the friendship part friendship, and the sex part just that, otherwise the lines will become very blurry for you both. That said, if you two are alone its not totally out of the question to hold her hand or give her a quick peak, but this is absolutely out of the question if you are around mutual friends.

Rule #6 – Don’t turn to each other in a time of need
If you are going through a crisis at home, or at work, don’t turn to your FWB to cry on their shoulder. They shouldn’t be that type of friend. If you begin to have sex, and develop too close of a relationship too, it is will start to become very hard to keep everything straight. You have other friends to turn to for emotional support, your friend with benefits should not be the one. Keep things light and you won’t ever have to worry about her bringing up the dreaded relationship talk!