Seriously? Are we still on this subject? You would think that after decades, if not centuries of people asking this question, someone would have the right answer. Much like “is it possible for a girl and a guy to be friends?”, this is the one question that most guy-girl friends have. The answer to this question is going to get settled right here, right now. Yes hooking up will always ruin your friendship unless you have a clear understanding going in that is is nothing more than casual fun sex. As with the answer to any question, there are always exceptions to the rules here are some more:

The first exception is if you are using the term “friend” loosely. There are those people who we call “friends” that are really just acquaintances. If you are asking if you could hook up with a girl who lives down the hall that you are friendly with and remain friendly with, the answer is, probably. If you just see her every once in a while, and you smile politely, you can continue to smile politely after having sex with her. Real friendship, the kind that you share things, you do things, you have fun together, that is different than an acquaintance.

Keep things causal and everyone is happy

The beauty of a friends with benefits friendship is that you get to enjoy sex without the hassle of feelings. What is the worst part of having a girlfriend? Dealing with her moods, being responsible for her happiness. Constantly trying to figure out what it is that she is thinking, or what it is that you are supposed to be doing, can be exhausting. When you are dealing with a girl who is your friend, if she is being a bitch, you can say, “hey you are being a bitch”. You can do so because there is no emotional tie. Once you have had sex, that goes out the window. You have shared something with her that is personal and have put your relationship into the “emotional” zone. Once you really “get to know her”, you are going to have to deal with her emotions and her moods. She’s got you.

Women aren’t like guys. They say they are, but they aren’t. They are possessive by nature, so even if they can remain friends with you, just try to bring your new girlfriend around. You want to know what awkward feels like? The tension between the friend that you have had sex with and the girlfriend is usually unbelievably tense. Now you are limited to when you can hang out with your friend, and when you can hang out with your girlfriend. Putting them into the same room is never a good idea. Your friend probably will not ever let the cat out of the bag, but she certainly won’t ever open her arms wide to your new girlfriend either.

Friends with benefits is the best kind of relationship

When you are just friends if you don’t feel like seeing her, you don’t. Once you have sex with her you are necessarily bound by guilt. You will constantly feel like you owe her something emotionally. I know you think you won’t, but you will. Not only that, but every time you are together you will be replaying the sex act. Either it will be a good one, or a bad, which will lead to you either being embarrassed, or wishing you had more. It is a lose-lose proposition.

Men never want to have sex with their ugly girlfriends. If you want to have hook up with your friend, you don’t want them as your friend anymore, you want to have sex with them. If she is attractive enough for you to want to put your package where the sun don’t shine, you don’t want to be paling around with her. At some level you want to have a relationship with her that is more than friends. What good is having a friend that you would rather have sex with? If she is cool enough to want to spend you days and weekends with, and she is hot to boot, then go ahead. Who cares if you lose the friendship. You already have enough friends.

If the girl you are friends with is someone you want to have sex with than who cares if you will continue to be her friend. At best you will have the best sex of your life that may lead to a real relationship with someone you already know you really like. At worst, you are losing a girl that you got to have sex with. There are many fishes in the sea, there are many girls that you can be friends with, but if this is the one, let the friendship go, it is okay.